How do you #talk to yourself?

The way you converse in your head decides whether you will eventually love or loathe yourself!

How-do-you-talk-to-yourself-jpgWords can be cruel. People can use harsh words to do you a lot of damage. But have you ever wondered about how you talk to yourself? Do you use kind words or are you constantly criticising yourself? Dr Jaime Kulaga, life coach, mental health counsellor and the author of Type “S”uperwoman: Finding the LIFE in Work-Life Balance – A Self-Searching Book for Women, says, “We do a lot of damage to l ourselves by negative self-talk and don’t even realize the power our own thoughts have over us.” In an interview with Times Life, she tells us how we can talk better to ourselves in order to lead a happy, fulfilling life.

Q: How much importance should we give to what we say to ourselves?
A lot of importance. You talk to yourself every minute of the day. If you are saying hurtful things, putting yourself down, being too much or not enough confident, you begin creating habits and consequently a reality for yourself. This reality is your world, whether it is enjoyable and positive or miserable and negative. Then, you start creating a world that fulfills your perceptions – so shortly thereafter, everything in your world is mis erable, and you are the victim, blaming or making excuses. Or you make your world one to be grateful for. The choice is yours. This is not just a psychological theory, biology supports this: `Neurons that fire together wire together’. Without getting into too much technicalities here, the more frequently you repeat a thought or action, you consequently strengthen the connection be tween a set of brain cells.

Q: We spend more time in our own heads these days. Our perceptions of ourselves are built more on `likes’ and retweets, which boost our egos. The real ity may be quite different… Would you agree?
Yes. Social media has given us an escape from who we really are.We stretch the truth, make things seem better than they really are, and sometimes downright lie to ourselves. The self-talk in this situation is to stop comparing. You can use certain people’s life paths as a guide. By comparing, you lose out on your present and discredit yourself and what you’ve worked for.

Instead, find things that actually make you happy; perhaps spending time with friends, family or ticking things off the bucket list.

Q: Which words should we use more in our lives?
Well, not exactly a word, but the action we should use more is FORGIVENESS. Forgive ness is not a feeling, it’s an action. For give yourself and others. If you are waiting for a particular feeling in order to move on, it may never come – instead realise that the act of forgiving makes you take control of your life, because it’s not a thought, but an action.

Instead of `must’, say `I would like to’. There is not much in life that HAS to get done. For eg, you may think laundry `has’ to get done – but it really doesn’t. If you skipped it on Sunday so that you could be with your family, life will could be with your family, life will still go on. You might have to do the laundry on Monday and Tuesday evening, but at least you got one extra day with the family on the weekend. Don’t stress over that.

Also, when things come to you that you worked for, you’re not lucky, you earned it. Don’t tell yourself you are lucky – luck runs out, hard work doesn’t.

Always tell your self “I earned this”.

Q: How does one navigate the space of positive self-talk without carpeting the problems that need to be faced and dealt with, like a few negative thoughts?
Often, we think that we are sorting out our thought through self-talk, but we are actually just ruminating on the same thing over and over again. Our minds are not trying to find a solution; we are just spiralling our brains down into a self-defeating mode, where we obsess over what went wrong. By doing this, you are brainwashing yourself into guilt, pain and giving into your insecurities. You should rather acknowledge the real issue and begin focussing on solutions to move yourself forward.

Instead of going in to work with a happy face on, know that your home life is suffering, begin to organise your top life roles and focus on managing time with the family, giving dedicated time to them, maximising your work schedule so you take less work home. Also, journal your thoughts so that they don’t build up over time. The more you let thoughts build up, the more chances you will have of panic attacks.

Q: We often find ourselves caught in a rut, unable to move forward or find new ways to deal with things around us, professional or personal… What can we tell our selves at those times?
Think small when you get in a rut. Don’t put pressure on yourself. Negative self-talk minimises our confidence and increases fears. When you are feeling stuck, list your fears, anxieties, and begin taking small steps. Create small goals. For example, many of my clients want to work out, but can’t because “they don’t have time”. They are stuck in the box that workout is 60 minutes or nothing. Instead, download an app on your phone and do a 10-minute powerhouse video in your kitchen. That way, you get to show your negative thoughts they are wrong, and you can literally rewire your mind and life.

Are there any specific words that we say without realising their negative impact?
Yes! `Should’, `must’, `have’, `ought’… these words instill guilt and can lead to anxiety, sadness, even regret

Work talk
Think small when you get in a rut. Don’t put pressure on yourself. Negative selftalk minimises confidence and increases fears. When you are feeling stuck, list your fears, anxieties, and begin taking small steps. Create small goals.

At work, don’t use words like “I think” and “I feel”. You instantly take away credibility.You’ve turned what you know for a fact into an opinion.

In business, leading comments with feelings can weaken your position because you are putting the focus onto your feelings, when it should be on the point you are making.

If you consistently tell yourself “I messed up” or “what was I thinking”, and keep apologising, you are taking blame for a lot of faults that happen during the day, even ones that you have nothing to do with.

What does your #selfie say about you?

Your selfie-clicking style says a lot about your personality!


The selfie culture has given rise to a whole new way of presenting yourself on the Internet. From the gregarious group selfies and lovey-dovey couplies to belfies — short for butt selfies — and drunk selfies, anything goes in the narcissistic selfie subculture that thrives on visually documenting every aspect of your life, and giving strangers a peek into the bed and the bathroom (heard of bed and bathroom selfies?).

A couplie (couple selfie) is a good way of proclaiming your love for your partner. Relfie (relationship selfie) is the word to use if you both haven’t tied the knot yet. Avoid the kissy-face couplies, though.

Friend selfie
Gatecrashed the party of the year with your friend (who happened to be invited)? It calls for a selfie with your buddy. People who have a fetish for friend selfies tend to be more social and like to share joyous moments.

Makeup selfie
This one’s for the girls only — unless you enjoy a spot of cross-dressing. Makeup selfies serve up a valid reason for beauty-conscious girls to pout and preen in front of the camera (and mirror) at the same time!

Kim Kardashian and other famous bootylicious women folk started clicking belfies (pictures of their enviable buttocks) and opened up a Pandora’s box of booty all over the Internet. Belfies scream ‘Look at my body!’ You consider yourself ‘sexy’ and don’t mind flaunting your assets for others to drool or gawk at, admire, envy or lust after. Be prepared for comments of all manner before you post one.

Badass selfie
A penchant for clicking selfies with a devil-may-care attitude means, you are either a thug, a hip hop music fan (usually a Yo Yo Honey Singh wannabe!) or you love shiny chains, rapper attire and wear your baseball cap backwards.

Vacationing on an island and dying to brag about it to your friends before you return to home turf? Click a braggie (also called a holiday selfie) for instant envy from friends and colleagues. Braggie takers are show-offs who love the good life and make a big noise when they are having one.

No makeup selfie
No makeup selfies became such a rage this year, they inspired a campaign for a breast cancer charity. A self-portrait sans makeup reflects confidence and belief in one’s natural good looks.

Filtered selfie
If you use filters before uploading every selfie to make your skin look smoother, your teeth whiter, your complexion fairer and your eyes bigger, you are vain to the point of being insecure about your appearance.

Goofy selfie
Can’t keep a straight face in front of the phone cam? You have a wry sense of humour, like practical jokes, clowning around and are generally the life of a party.

Beach selfie
On a beach vacation, you think, ‘I’m having such a great time… away from the chaos at work, disconnected from people. So, let me take a selfie,’ you want to be the centre of attention even when you aren’t around.

A love for usies (group selfies) implies that you are people-oriented. You are a team player and like to include those around in your bliss.

Gym selfie
Workout junkies are posting gym selfies to update friends about their progress in beefing up. The other desire is for members of the opposite sex to drool over their muscular body clad in skin-fitting exercise gear.

Headless selfie
‘My face isn’t looking so good today, so check out my awesome body since I don’t mind being reduced to a body part,’ is the clear signal you are sending out by uploading that headless selfie in your bathroom.

Tongue selfie
A tongue selfie is a shortcut to being spunky, defiant, stupid, fun… or a Miley Cyrus clone.

The #Effects of #smoking on the #Body

No matter how you smoke it, tobacco is dangerous to your health and affects your entire body.

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The Effects of Smoking on the Body

Tobacco smoke is enormously harmful to your health. There’s no safe way to smoke. Replacing your cigarette with a cigar, pipe, or hookah won’t help you avoid the health risks associated with tobacco products.

Cigarettes contain about 600 ingredients. When they burn, they generate more than 7,000 chemicals, according to the American Lung Association. Many of those chemicals are poisonous and at least 69 of them can cause cancer. Many of the same ingredients are found in cigars and in tobacco used in pipes and hookahs. According to the National Cancer Institute, cigars have a higher level of carcinogens, toxins, and tar than cigarettes.

When using a hookah pipe, you’re likely to inhale more smoke than you would from a cigarette. Hookah smoke has many toxic compounds and exposes you to more carbon monoxide than cigarettes do. Hookahs also produce more secondhand smoke.

In the United States, the mortality rate for smokers is three times that of people who never smoked, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. It’s one of the leading causes of preventable death.

Central Nervous System

One of the ingredients in tobacco is a mood-altering drug called nicotine. Nicotine reaches your brain in mere seconds. It’s a central nervous system stimulant, so it makes you feel more energized for a little while. As that effect subsides, you feel tired and crave more. Nicotine is habit forming.

Smoking increases risk of macular degeneration, cataracts, and poor eyesight. It can also weaken your sense of taste and sense of smell, so food may become less enjoyable.

Your body has a stress hormone called corticosterone, which lowers the effects of nicotine. If you’re under a lot of stress, you’ll need more nicotine to get the same effect.

Physical withdrawal from smoking can impair your cognitive functioning and make you feel anxious, irritated, and depressed. Withdrawal can also cause headaches and sleep problems.

Respiratory System

When you inhale smoke, you’re taking in substances that can damage your lungs. Over time, your lungs lose their ability to filter harmful chemicals. Coughing can’t clear out the toxins sufficiently, so these toxins get trapped in the lungs. Smokers have a higher risk of respiratory infections, colds, and flu.

In a condition called emphysema, the air sacs in your lungs are destroyed. In chronic bronchitis, the lining of the tubes of the lungs becomes inflamed. Over time, smokers are at increased risk of developing these forms of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD). Long-term smokers are also at increased risk of lung cancer.

Withdrawal from tobacco products can cause temporary congestion and respiratory pain as your lungs begin to clear out.

Children whose parents smoke are more prone to coughing, wheezing, and asthma attacks than children whose parents don’t. They also tend to have more ear infections. Children of smokers have higher rates of pneumonia and bronchitis.

Cardiovascular System

Smoking damages your entire cardiovascular system. When nicotine hits your body, it gives your blood sugar a boost. After a short time, you’re left feeling tired and craving more. Nicotine causes blood vessels to tighten, which restricts the flow of blood (peripheral artery disease). Smoking lowers good cholesterol levels and raises blood pressure, which can result in stretching of the arteries and a buildup of bad cholesterol (atherosclerosis). Smoking raises the risk of forming blood clots.

Blood clots and weakened blood vessels in the brain increase a smoker’s risk of stroke. Smokers who have heart bypass surgery are at increased risk of recurrent coronary heart disease. In the long term, smokers are at greater risk of blood cancer (leukemia).

There’s a risk to nonsmokers, too. Breathing secondhand smoke has an immediate effect on the cardiovascular system. Exposure to secondhand smoke increases your risk of stroke, heart attack, and coronary heart disease.

Skin, Hair, and Nails (Integumentary System)

Some of the more obvious signs of smoking involve the skin. The substances in tobacco smoke actually change the structure of your skin. Smoking causes skin discoloration, wrinkles, and premature aging. Your fingernails and the skin on your fingers may have yellow staining from holding cigarettes. Smokers usually develop yellow or brown stains on their teeth. Hair holds on to the smell of tobacco long after you put your cigarette out. It even clings to nonsmokers.

Digestive System

Smokers are at great risk of developing oral problems. Tobacco use can cause gum inflammation (gingivitis) or infection (periodontitis). These problems can lead to tooth decay, tooth loss, and bad breath.

Smoking also increases risk of cancer of the mouth, throat, larynx, and esophagus. Smokers have higher rates of kidney cancer and pancreatic cancer. Even cigar smokers who don’t inhale are at increased risk of mouth cancer.

Smoking also has an effect on insulin, making it more likely that you’ll develop insulin resistance. That puts you at increased risk of type 2 diabetes. When it comes to diabetes, smokers tend to develop complications at a faster rate than nonsmokers.

Smoking also depresses appetite, so you may not be getting all the nutrients your body needs. Withdrawal from tobacco products can cause nausea.

Sexuality and Reproductive System

Restricted blood flow can affect a man’s ability to get an erection. Both men and women who smoke may have difficulty achieving orgasm and are at higher risk of infertility. Women who smoke may experience menopause at an earlier age than nonsmoking women. Smoking increases a woman’s risk of cervical cancer.

Smokers experience more complications of pregnancy, including miscarriage, problems with the placenta, and premature delivery.

Pregnant mothers who are exposed to secondhand smoke are also more likely to have a baby with low birth weight. Babies born to mothers who smoke while pregnant are at greater risk of low birth weight, birth defects, and sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Newborns who breathe secondhand smoke suffer more ear infections and asthma attacks.

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#Google #Glass future clouded as some early believers lose #faith

After two years of popping up at high-profile events sporting Google Glass, the gadget that transforms eyeglasses into spy-movie worthy technology, Google co-founder Sergey Brin sauntered bare-faced into a Silicon Valley red-carpet event on Sunday.

Google-GlassHe’d left his pair in the car, Brin told a reporter. The Googler, who heads up the top-secret lab which developed Glass, has hardly given up on the product — he recently wore his pair to the beach.

But Brin’s timing is not propitious, coming as many developers and early Glass users are losing interest in the much-hyped, $1,500 test version of the product: a camera, processor and stamp-sized computer screen mounted to the edge of eyeglass frames. Google Inc itself has pushed back the Glass roll out to the mass market.

While Glass may find some specialized, even lucrative, uses in the workplace, its prospects of becoming a consumer hit in the near future are slim, many developers say.

Of 16 Glass app makers contacted by Reuters, nine said that they had stopped work on their projects or abandoned them, mostly because of the lack of customers or limitations of the device. Three more have switched to developing for business, leaving behind consumer projects.

Plenty of larger developers remain with Glass. The nearly 100 apps on the official web site include Facebook and OpenTable, although one major player recently defected: Twitter.

“If there was 200 million Google Glasses sold, it would be a different perspective. There’s no market at this point,” said Tom Frencel, the Chief Executive of Little Guy Games, which put development of a Glass game on hold this year and is looking at other platforms, including the Facebook Inc-owned virtual-reality goggles Oculus Rift.

Several key Google employees instrumental to developing Glass have left the company in the last six months, including lead developer Babak Parviz, electrical engineering chief Adrian Wong, and Ossama Alami, director of developer relations.

And a Glass funding consortium created by Google Ventures and two of Silicon Valley’s biggest venture capitalists, Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers and Andreessen Horowitz, quietly deleted its website, routing users to the main Glass site.

Google insists it is committed to Glass, with hundreds of engineers and executives working on it, as well as new fashionista boss Ivy Ross, a former Calvin Klein executive. Tens of thousands use Glass in the pilot consumer program.

“We are completely energized and as energized as ever about the opportunity that wearables and Glass in particular represent,” said Glass Head of Business Operations Chris O’Neill.

Glass was the first project to emerge from Google’s X division, the secretive group tasked with developing “moonshot” products such as self-driving cars. Glass and wearable devices overall amount to a new technology, as smartphones once were, that will likely take time to evolve into a product that clicks with consumers.

“We are as committed as ever to a consumer launch. That is going to take time and we are not going to launch this product until it’s absolutely ready,” O’Neill said.

Brin had predicted a launch this year, but 2015 is now the most likely date, a person familiar with the matter said.

Glass selling… on eBay

After an initial burst of enthusiasm, signs that consumers are giving up on Glass have been building.

Google dubbed the first set of several thousand Glass users as “Explorers.” But as the Explorers hit the streets, they drew stares and jokes. Some people viewed the device, capable of surreptitious video recording, as an obnoxious privacy intrusion, deriding the once-proud Explorers as “Glassholes.”

“It looks super nerdy,” said Shvetank Shah, a Washington, DC-based consultant, whose Google Glass now gathers dust in a drawer. “I’m a card carrying nerd, but this was one card too many.”

Glass now sells on eBay for as little as half list price.

Some developers recently have felt unsupported by investors and, at times, Google itself.

The Glass Collective, the funding consortium co-run by Google Ventures, invested in only three or four small start-ups by the beginning of this year, a person familiar with the statistics said.

A Google Ventures spokeswoman declined to comment on the number of investments and said the Web site was closed for simplicity. “We just found it’s easier for entrepreneurs to come to us directly,” she said.

The lack of a launch date has given some developers the impression that Google still treats Glass as an experiment.

“It’s not a big enough platform to play on seriously,” said Matthew Milan, founder of Toronto-based software firm Normative Design, which put on hold a Glass app for logging exercise and biking.

Mobile game company Glu Mobile, known for its popular “Kim Kardashian: Hollywood” title, was one of the first to launch a game on Glass. Spellista, a puzzler released a year ago, is still available, but Glu has discontinued work on it, a spokesman for the company said.

Another developer, Sean McCracken, won $10,000 in a contest last year for creating an aliens-themed video game for Glass, Psyclops, but Google never put it on the official hub for Glass apps, making it tougher to find. He has quit working on updates.

Still, there are some enthusiastic developers. Cycling and running app Strava finds Glass well-suited for its users, who want real-time data on their workouts, said David Lorsch, vice president of business development. And entrepreneur Jake Steinerman said it is ideal for his company, DriveSafe, which detects if people are falling asleep at the wheel.

Pivoting away

In April, Google launched the Glass at Work program to help make the device useful for specific industries, such as healthcare and manufacturing. So far the effort has resulted in apps that are being tested or used at companies such as Boeing and Yum Brands’ Taco Bell.

Google is selling Glass in bulk to some businesses, offering two-for-one discounts.

CrowdOptic, which uses Glass as portable computers for surgeons and other people out of offices, is currently in use at 19 US hospitals and expects that to grow to 100 hospitals early next year, said Chief Executive Jon Fisher.

Alex Foster began See Through, a Glass advertising analytics firm for business, after a venture firm earlier this year withdrew its offer to back his consumer-oriented Glass fitness company when it became clear no big consumer Glass release was imminent.

“It was devastating,” he said. “All of the consumer glass startups are either completely dead or have pivoted,” to enterprise products or rival wearables.