How you choose to react to trying situations says plenty about whether your bond will last. Here are things happy lovers do differently.
It’s part of the game. Every couple has to deal with trying situations. But what separates the madly-in-love from the ones who are destined for a break-up is the handling. The main difference being that unhappy couples lack coping skills. Here’s how unhappy couples react in difficult situations, and how their happy counterparts respond to them differently. Where do you fit?
ONE OF YOU HAS LOST A JOB
Unhappy couple: One partner might get angry and critical, and set the blame game rolling. But questions like, ‘How could you let this happen?’ and ‘Why didn’t you see it coming?’ show a major lack of empathy— and instead of relieving some of the burden, they add to it.
Happy couple: Empathy is what sets them apart. For them it is all about being each other’s emotional anchor. First, s/he acknowledge the disappointment the partner is going through. Next, s/he would offer to help in some way — perhaps, by offering to reach out to people who might have leads, or try to take on some of the responsibility.
SOMEONE HITS ON YOUR PARTNER
Unhappy couple: Now, here’s treading the dangerous zone. If you are in an unhappy relationship, you are susceptible to jealousy. You are likely to ignore any factors that would explain the flirting, and chances are that you may blame your partner for encouraging playful banter. Suspicion is quick to arrive when couples don’t trust each other. Sounds familiar?
Happy couple: Even if you’re uncomfortable with someone flirting with your guy, if you’re in a happy relationship, the situation can make it stronger. A couple would view the flirtation as a chance to enhance intimacy, or simply laugh it off. A simple tip to learn from the happily-ever-kind, instead of freaking out, you reroute that energy into your own relationship.
PARENTS DISAPPROVE OF THE RELATIONSHIP
Unhappy couple: This quandary has high probability to tear an unhappy couple apart. If your boyfriend’s mother didn’t like you, he would ignore your feelings and side his mother. He’d hold you responsible and place unreasonable expectations on you to go along with his mother’s requests.
Happy couple: Pairs with strong relationships tackle this kind of situation as a team. If his mom plays nasty, he’d apologise for her rude behaviour. He’d then suggest that you talk to her together, or he would speak to her on your behalf.
NO LOVE FOR THE BESTIE
Unhappy couple: If you thought his best friend was a meanie, you’d let your guy know all the time. You’d also probably limit his time with the friend, or act awkward in front of him and let the buddy know how much you disapprove his/her presence.
Happy couple: If you can’t stand his best buddy, you’ll be honest but understanding. You would explain that you don’t like the friend, but give your guy or girl the space to hang out with them. You’d also express that you would rather not be involved when the two of them are catching up, but be cordial when he/she is around.
NO TIME FOR LOVE
Unhappy couple: If someone isn’t sexually satisfied, they’d blame the other person in a turbulent relationship. And the accused partner is often left feeling inadequate.
Happy couple: In relationships where one person isn’t getting as much physical pleasure as they would appreciate, they’d explain their disappointment but still empathise with their partner.
ONE OF YOU IS A WORKAHOLIC
Unhappy couple: Your guy would demand that you start coming home earlier and be upset if you didn’t. He might lash out by doing something like not having any food prepared. He’d find ways to show his resentment in his words.
Happy couple: If you’re always at work in an attempt to climb the corporate ladder, your partner might be disappointed, but he’d understand. S/he would, perhaps, explain how your late hours make him/her feel, but s/he’d be proud of how hard you’re working. The two of you would come up with a plan to get in some extra relaxation time.
ONE OF YOU IS SICK
Unhappy couple: If he got sick, you might get upset with him for it. You may even, unconsciously, disappear on him/her or withdraw support. While it’s understandable that it becomes more of a burden, getting angry in that way doesn’t help your bond, nor the one who’s sick.
Happy couple: A happy couple would talk the illness out and understand the difficulty it was placing on both. The ill person would acknowledge and show appreciation for everything the other was doing. Of course, the healthy one would express understanding of how tough it was on the one with the illness.