Most of you have faced moments when your professional life collided with your personal.
Remember the time when an emotional outburst in office earned you the tag of ‘crybaby’ for a lifetime. Often situations at work tend to become so volatile that you go through a personal trauma.
Here are some quick tips on how to recover without as much as even battling an eyelid.
Your colleague trying to create problems: A classic case where colleagues try to get the better of is when they complain about you to your boss or gossip behind your back. You have been diligently at work and then you get to know that your boss thinks you fudged up on the work they gave you. This is not the first time something like this has happened and so by now you are quite fed up.
Here’s what you should do. When you get into such an emotional upheaval, confront the colleague you suspect could have done this. Or take others into confidence and spread the word that this particular person isn’t to be trusted with work.
Expert Tip: Psychologist Bharati Vidyarathi reveals that it’s best to view the workplace as a battleground. “You are on your own and you have to take care of your dignity and respect even as you deliver a good performance. To achieve this, make sure your body language gives a clear indication about how much you are willing to bear. Take responsibility of your actions and acquire leadership skills. Do not let others know of what is going in your mind. Be clear about your goals and never get distracted by mundane office gossip and rumours.”
Boss picks on you unreasonably: Okay, so he/she bears a grudge against you. You probably make him/her feel insecure and hence to get at par with you, they make you the object of their ire. You are insulted, discouraged, given too much work and too many deadlines and supposed to deliver on time. Relax!
Here’s what you should do. When your boss comments at you irrationally, and you can’t take it any more, force yourself to give a broad smile and accept it with a pinch of salt. Remember, what is important is the kind of work that you do and not your personal fashion statement.
Expert Tip: “Bosses do pick on employees they believe threaten their space in office and thus find ways and means to dominate them,” says psychiatrist Dr. Amit Nagpal. According to Nagpal, the best thing to do to avoid a conflict is to keep thinking that you are the best atyour job. “Never let your performance get affected. If it gets too much at your office, take a break and talk to a colleague you can trust. Vent your fears and then resume. The trick is, the more your boss picks on you, the better your performance.”
Meeting deadlines and balancing personal life: Almost every individual goes through this particular phase. There comes a time when managing both seem a burden often leading to high stress levels and lifestyle diseases. Both men and women go through frequent phases of guilt while trying to tackle the balancing game.
Here’s what you should do. The next time you feel the guilt piling up on you and your nervous system seems to give way, go to the terrace of your office building and take deep breaths. Keep breathing until you begin to feel your muscles relax. Picture your guilt as a burden on your shoulders. And every time you have to meet deadlines, imagine yourself putting down your burden and doing your task, and taking it up once you are through. This will help you get your work done without feeling the pressure.
Expert Tip: Says HR executive, Manish Ahuja, “Every workplace today demands quite a bit out of you and one has to deliver irrespective of whatever crisis he/she might be facing in their personal lives. That is the reason offices today have recreational activities like a table tennis court, a gym or a great canteen to hang out in.”
You have a presentation and your child’s PT meeting: Yes, yes we know you are desperate and want to give up your job. But it isn’t a solution.
Here’s what you should do. If your presentation is very important or you have an important meeting to attend or a deadline to deliver, something you can’t give a miss, arrange another time of the day to reach your child’s school. If that isn’t workable, ask your spouse to pitch in or call up the school authorities and explain the situation.
Expert Tip: Vidyarthi explains that during these times there is a lot of pressure on the parent and often it hampers the execution of the twin tasks. “Communicate your worries to your spouse and tell him/her about your guilt. Try to share the work pressure at home between the two of you. Always express your fears/worries and do not push them under the rug. In office, take your boss into confidence and tell him/her the situation at hand. It is important to remain calm and think with a clear head.”
You are sick and afraid to ask for another leave: One of the many hassles of a workplace. Very often, those with families tend to feel burdened about taking an off day if they fall sick. Even as most organisations provide sick leaves, they are mostly looked down upon as implying low efficiency and poor work turnover.
Here’s what you should do. If your sickness is because of stress or a medical problem, ensure you have a proper medical certificate made and delivered to your HR. Make it very clear to your colleagues and your boss that you are suffering and a quick holiday will see you back hale and hearty.
Expert Tip: Ahuja explains, “Whenever an employee suffers from a prolonged sickness, we recommend that they go in for a thorough check up before he/she decides to resume work. Yes, there is a problem, if the sickness is recurring, however, even that could be adjusted with proper medical certificates and bills made available. The important thing is to realize that it’s always better to communicate your feelings in an organisation and understand that there are people to look out for you.”
Adjusting to snide remarks in office: Office place constitutes a vast majority of people from a variety backgrounds and diverse sensibilities. Thus, it is always not possible to adjust to the work environment. Mostly because each one has their own goals and ambitions and would go to any means to accomplish them. Dealing with colleagues who believe in passing snide comments are tough, but then one has to learn the hard way.
Here’s what you should do. The next time you hear a remark being made, stop there, turn around and simply say ‘same to you’. Never take what you hear in your office to heart. As much as it affects your goals, remember, you have a life beyond office and that is what is more important.
Expert Tip: Head of Persistence placement company, Alok Kaushik, points out, “Working in an organisation is a challenge. You hardly ever get what you want to do and the way you want to do it. But to be successful you have to find ways around the problem so as to achieve what you want. There will be people to bring you down, but remain consistent at your work and maintain cordiality towards every one. The bottom line being you never make best friends in office.”