How to apologise to your #partner

Every couple has their share of fights but there are times when you need to own up to your mistakes and say you’re sorry. Here’s how you can do that.

– It takes courage to accept that you are wrong and to give an apology. But many a times, people feel uncomfortable and are embarrassed when they make a mistake. Get over these feelings, regardless of how embarrassing it might be.

– Be honest and speak from your heart. If you are genuinely sorry, allow your feelings to show by speaking your mind and being honest. Keep it simple.

– Have a positive body language. It’s not just the words that matter in a conversation. Your body language will also show how you are feeling. Avoid crossed arms, tense shoulders, and fidgeting. It will not just make you look distracted but also make your partner feel that you are not genuinely feeling sorry.

– Never get defensive. Else it can lead to another argument and the point of apologising will be lost.

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4 things never to share with your #boyfriend

When it comes to relationships, there are always certain boundaries that you must have.

They not only help strengthen your relationship but it also ensures that you have some things only to yourself. Here are a couple of things that you should never share with your partner.

Your girlfriend secrets

This is one of the things that you MUST NEVER share with your boyfriend. Your friends confide in you and expect you to keep that confidence. After all, they do the same for you right? So try and keep their trust intact. Apart from this, guys generally do not understand the kind of talks girls do, so it’s best you keep him at bay.

Your password

This is a big NO NO when it comes to sharing something with your boyfriend. Even though you might trust him a lot and also love him beyond words, but there are certain things like passwords that you should never share.

Your dislike for his family

It is best you keep this secret to yourself and not let this one out either to him or your friends. There will always be some who cannot get along well with their boyfriend’s mother or sister. You need not tell him this. Not only will it make him sad but it might also ruin your relationship.

Your past….in detail

Well even if you’ve mentioned about your ex boyfriend to your current one, make sure you do not give out too many details to him. Keep this a secret. It does not mean that you are cheating on him. It just shows that you do not want unnecessary trouble.

Stressed #wife makes #husband’s #BP go #haywire

Wives, please take note! Fighting over trivial issues at home can raise your hubby’s blood pressure to such an extent that he may suffer heart problems sooner in life.

According to researchers, stressed wives can elevate husbands’ blood pressure — particularly in more negative relationships — which may lead to cardiovascular problems.

Using systolic (maximum) blood pressure as a gauge, researchers assessed whether an individual’s blood pressure is influenced by their own as well as their partner’s reports of chronic stress and whether there are gender differences in these patterns.

The findings support previous research that asserts stress and relationship quality have both direct and moderating effects on the cardiovascular system.

“However, we found that husbands were more sensitive to wives’ stress than the reverse especially given all of the work indicating that wives are more affected by the marital tie,” explained lead author Kira S Birditt from the University of Michigan’s institute for social research.

“This finding may result from husbands’ greater reliance on wives for support which may not be provided when wives are more stressed,” Birditt added.

This study addressed several questions like if chronic stress predicts blood pressure or is the association between chronic stress and blood pressure varies between husbands and wives.

It also looked at if negative relationship quality predicts blood pressure or the association between negative relationship quality and blood pressure varies by gender.

Specifically looking at the effects of negative relationship quality, researchers found that effects were not recognised when examining individuals but they were when examining interactions between both members of couple.

“It is important to consider the couple as a whole rather than the individual when examining marriage and health,” the authors noted in the study that appeared in the Journals of Gerontology.

A look at how the #arranged-#marriage scene has changed

Now, the dynamics of arranged marriages have changed, or so we’d like to think. There are women who’ve given the prospective grooms a whiff of the jail room even as they were fantasizing a trip to the bedroom instead. The woman with her chai ki tray has morphed into a different being — never mind the Balaji serials. In her place, you have a woman who gives it as good as she gets and sometimes much before she gets. There may be women who still go through the coy-act-and the-downward-gaze motions, but oh oh oh the tide is turning.

So, here’s us, the imaginary busybody fly on the wall in a room where an arranged marriage rigmarole is under way. It’s the first meeting, and this is how it goes. Sorry, men, this is a fun piece, written by a woman, so we’ve kept you at the receiving end. But it’s also true that when the boy-meets-girl thing happens, the guy is already imagining her as the mother of his sons whereas the girl is thinking ‘no way this guy cuts it for me’! Yes, yes, the usual Mars-Venus conundrum, but we suggest you take our total random convo a little seriously because who knows if fiction plays out as reality! Boy Scout motto: Be prepared!

Scene: The girl and the guy have been asked by the two sets of parents to check each other out and have a talk.

Prospective groom, sizing her up (PG): So, how tall are you?

Prospective bride stands up (PB): Here, I am as tall as I stand from my head to toe.

PG: No, I meant in feet and inches

PB: (Enjoying it) Why just feet when I am also two hands and one head?

PG: (Showing signs of exasperation) Hahahaha, never mind. So, tell me, can you cook?

PB: Now? Are you really that hungry?

PG: God, no! I mean how good are you in the kitchen?

PB: Oh, that’s asking! That’s a pretty unusual place to do it,I’d say. You seem to be the adventurous sort.

PG: (Ready to tear his hair out) You are pretty unconventional, I can see. Tell me, do you wear short and revealing clothes? Indian women look prettiest in traditional clothes

PB: Short and revealing… Har, har… sounds like a film plot or a story line. Well, I look equally pretty in all kinds of clothes! Your research sample size must have been definitely flawed.

PG: (Wanting an escape route, now) You must be the smoking and drinking kinds…

PB: (Thoroughly enjoying herself) Together would be tough, man!

PB: So, how many more questions to go? Are you always this well prepared?

PG: (A bit tongue-tied) I don’t know how to ask this, but um… um… um… Are you a… um… virgin?

PB: (Eyes wide, and totally unabashed) Why, is that bloke Richard Branson still looking for me?

PG: (Cursing his folks for this meeting, and on the verge of giving up) I am quite sure you must be having boyfriends…

PB: Was that a wild guess, or did one of them give you the directions to get here?

PG: OK, this isn’t going too well. Let’s start again… Tell me about your hobbies…

PB: (Unrelenting) Making men squirm is just one of them!

PG: Looks like you’ve someone else on your mind. I should have never agreed to go through this.

PB: Who’s the one ‘going through’ in this case?

PG: (At his wits’ end) I think I have a headache. Isn’t this the usual line of questioning for arranged set-ups? This doesn’ t look to be an arranged one at all.

PB: Not tonight, darling, the headache.! And it’s arranged alright. Arranged my way!

PG: (Beating a hasty retreat to the door) Thank you! I need to find love ASAP!

PB: Make sure it’s short and revealing! OK, make that tall and revealing!

PG: (Goes home and deletes his profile from the matrimonial site)

The fly on the wall buzzes off, too.