This 1 #Simple #Exercise Will #Change How You #Handle #Toxic #People

A big idea. A thirst for freedom. The desire to help others. The drive to reach your own potential. The search for a more interesting life. Entrepreneurs have so many inspiring reasons for taking the leap. But there’s another, less glorious reason many of us strike out on our own: getting away from toxic people.

Here’s a common scenario. You leave a job because the head honcho, or honchette, is poisonous. Your new job is wonderful. Great boss, fun work, terrific team, opportunities for advancement etc. And then suddenly, there’s a new boss. Next thing you know, all the slackers are in his office, kissing his ring, taking credit for other people’s ideas, and getting promoted. At this point, you can suck it up, hit the job boards, or take a brave leap into self-employment.

Unfortunately, toxic people, like flu viruses, are everywhere. As an entrepreneur, you may have to contend with shifty suppliers, deadbeat clients, passive aggressive partners, bad-faith negotiators, know-it-alls, know-nothings, slackers, whiners, liars, drama queens … the list goes on and on.

In my career, I’ve also had my fair share of toxic bosses. From liars to criers — needless to say — dealing with difficult people at any level has its challenges.  As a crisis communications expert, understanding how and when to respond to toxic vitriol is critical to succeeding in business.

Focus on the relationship, not the person.

I recently sat down with the founder of the Brilliance Movement, Simon T. Bailey, life coach, keynote speaker, and author of a number of motivational books, including “Release Your Brilliance.”  Bailey had some fascinating insights about dealing with difficult people.

Where we might see a toxic person, Bailey suggests we focus instead on our relationship to that person. “There are relationships that are assets, there are relationships that are liabilities, and every day we are in a relationship with something,” Bailey points out. “The news we hear and repeat and what we decide to do with that. The meetings we decide to take. The phone calls we decide to have. The choices we decide to make.”

Entrepreneurs are individualists by nature. It makes you bold and self-sufficient, but on a bad day, it’s easy to feel like it’s you against the world. Looking at your world as a web of relationships makes for a more measured and strategic perspective. It depersonalizes conflict and helps defuse anger and resentment. As Bailey points out, “Moving forward requires you to think. If you won’t do the work, if you won’t evaluate and decide, you stay where you are.”

Exercise your tolerance.

Bailey suggests a simple exercise to help you put up with difficult people. Write down the name of someone who really gets under your skin. Then, give yourself sixty seconds to list as many of that person’s negative and positive attributes as you can. “It’s going to be like pulling teeth but it’s also like digging for gold, ” Bailey asserts.  “The mere fact that you wrote all this down doesn’t change that person. It changes you. It changes how you see them, how you invest your time in them.”

The very qualities that make a good entrepreneur, like self-confidence, self-reliance, or self-motivation, can also make us a tad self-absorbed. “I think sometimes, as entrepreneurs, we see people as we are instead of as they are,” Bailey notes. “We have to step back and say, what is right about this person? What makes them amazing?”

Celebrate the small stuff.

Instead of judging people through our own exacting standards, Bailey would have us celebrate what they do right. What gets recognized gets repeated. Entrepreneurs have their own way of doing things, but your way is not the only way. It may not even be the best way. We also tend to have impossibly high standards, but the fact that someone doesn’t quite meet your standards doesn’t make them a bad person.

You can’t always change challenging people, but by changing how you relate to them, you may be able to change the relationship.

As a first step, ask yourself the following questions:

1. Are you stingy with positive feedback?

2. How do you communicate to them what they’re doing right?

3. Can you change your tone and edit your word choice to alter their behavior or coax a better performance out of them?

4. Do you know their learning style?

Perhaps you can communicate with them in a way will make them more likely to “get it.” For example, some people would rather get their marching orders in person, while others prefer a written memo they can mull over and react to.

Ultimately, some relationships will continue to be what Bailey refers to as liabilities. Those are the ones you can safely jettison. Save the hard work of understanding and getting along for those relationships that can benefit you – and your business.


20 #Amazing #Benefits Of #Walnuts (#Akhrot) For #Skin, #Hair, And #Health

Walnuts, or commonly referred as ‘Akhrot‘ in Hindi, ‘Akroot Kaya‘ in Telugu, ‘Akrottu‘ in Tamil, ‘Akrothandi‘ in Malayalam, ‘Acrota‘ in Kannada, ‘Akrod‘ in Marathi and ‘Akrot‘ in (Gujarati & Bengali). Walnut is one of the very common ingredients in our daily life. We consume walnuts in chocolates, cakes, cookies, etc. Even though they have a slightly bitter taste, people love them. There are two types of walnuts-black and normal brownish one that you all must be aware of. Both the types are really beneficial for our body, let’s see how.

Walnuts are really great for the skin and the body. Many makeup and skin care brands include walnuts in their ingredients as they are rich in nutrients that benefit our beauty routines. They are also sought after for hair care. Many shampoos contain walnut extracts and walnut oil as they keep the hair healthy and make them shiny.

Health Benefits Of Walnuts

1. For The Heart

Due to the high levels of omega-3 fatty acids in the walnuts, they are very beneficial to the cardiovascular system. It has been found that eating just a few walnuts per day can help reduce the blood pressure, so those with high blood pressure take note! The omega-3 fatty acids are known to reduce the bad cholesterol in the body and encourage the production of the good cholesterol. This is again beneficial for the heart.

2. For Immunity

Walnuts have high amounts of antioxidants in them that keep your immune system healthy and prevent the onset of diseases. Add some walnuts to your diet every day to keep yourself fit as a fiddle.

3. For Brain Health

The omega-3 fatty acids present in the walnuts are also good for the brain. Having food rich in omega-3 fatty acids keeps the nervous system working smoothly and improves your memory.

4. For Breast Cancer

The American Association For Cancer Research has published in its 2009 research volume that consuming a few walnuts each day can help reduce the risk of breast cancer.

5. For Inflammatory Diseases

Those with inflammatory diseases like asthma, arthritis and eczema can benefit from walnuts as they have high amounts of fatty acid in them.

6. For Bone Health

Walnuts contain an essential fatty acid called alpha-linolenic acid. This alpha-linolenic acid and its compounds have been associated with stronger and healthier bones. Also, as you intake omega-3 fatty acids through walnuts, inflammation decreases, and this is related to keeping the bones stronger for a longer duration.

7. For Better Sleep And Stress

Walnuts have melatonin, and this compound is said to be associated with better sleep patterns. Also, the omega-3 fatty acids keep the blood pressure low and help relieve stress.

8. For Pregnancy

Having a walnut daily can greatly benefit those who are expecting. Walnuts contain healthy vitamin B-Complex groups like folates, riboflavin, thiamin, etc. These are necessary for a pregnant woman and the fetus.

9. For Constipation And Digestive System

Walnuts are rich in fiber, and they are a great way to keep your digestive system functioning properly. All humans require fiber on a daily basis to keep their bowels functioning correctly. Usually, the common sources of protein, such as meat and dairy products, lack fiber. Having walnuts daily can help you with digestive problems and keep your bowels functioning properly.

10. For Internal Cleaning

Walnuts are your internal vacuum cleaners as they literally cleanse the digestive system of uncountable parasites. As a designated superfood on account of its nutrient content, the snack food is beneficial to heart health and weight loss as well.

I call it strictly snack food because walnuts should be taken in minimal quantities each day. Moderation truly is the key for this nutrient powerhouse, if you want to avoid allergies or unforeseen health conditions.

11. For Curing Fungal Infections

There is no better way to cleanse yourself of fungus inside-out than with black walnut. Candida growth in the digestive system and fungal infections occurring on the skin are both highly aggravating.

These infections create a range of uncomfortable symptoms, from releasing toxins to itching. Black walnuts are effective against fungal outgrowths, on par with other treatments available.

Walnuts For Healthy And Beautiful Skin

12. Delays Skin Aging

Walnuts are good for the skin as they are packed with B-vitamins. Vitamin B is an excellent stress and mood manager. Lower stress levels result in a better skin. Increased stress levels can result in the earlier onset of wrinkles, thus inducing faster aging. The presence of the B-vitamins, together with Vitamin E, a natural antioxidant, helps in fighting the free radicals induced due to stress. This further delays the aging process.

13. Walnuts For A Moisturized Skin

Those with dry skin should try applying warm walnut oil regularly. Walnut oil helps keep the skin moisturized. It nourishes the skin from within, enhancing the growth of healthier and radiant cells.

14. Bid Adieu To Your Dark Circles

The regular application of warm walnut oil is known to lighten the dark circles. It is a wonderful soothing agent (12). The oil extracted from the walnuts is known to ease puffiness and relax your eyes, retaining its glow and color.

15. For Glowing Skin

Reap the benefits of walnuts by preparing an easy face pack at home.

How To Use

  • Add 4 walnuts, 2 teaspoons oats, 1 teaspoon honey, 1 teaspoon cream, and 4 drops of olive oil in a blender.
  • Blend well to make a smooth paste.
  • Apply it on your face and let it dry completely.
  • Wash with warm water, while massaging in a circular motion.

This face mask is a great way to keep the facial skin moisturized and delay the onset of wrinkles.

Eat Walnuts For Healthier Hair

These days, with factors like pollution, hectic lifestyles, and poor eating habits, our hair is more dull and damaged than ever before. You can now get healthy, glowing hair by incorporating walnuts in your daily hair care regimen. Walnuts, whether consumed or applied externally as oil, are known to keep your hair healthy and glowing.

16. Longer, Stronger Hair

Walnuts are good sources of potassium, omega-3, omega-6, and omega-9 fatty acids. All these ingredients strengthen the hair follicles. Thus, the regular application of walnut oil on the hair leaves you with longer, stronger, healthier, and glowing hair.

17. Prevents Balding

Studies show that the regular use of walnut oil can keep balding issues at bay.

18. Natural Anti-Dandruff Agent

Walnut oil is widely used in producing hair oils due to its rich moisturizing properties. Hence, it is widely suggested as a natural anti-dandruff agent.

19. Healthier Scalp

The regular application of walnut oil keeps the scalp moisturized and hydrated, thus keeping medical conditions such as dermatitis at bay. The antifungal properties of walnut oil are beneficial in preventing the infections triggered by ringworm. This further ensures a healthier and cleaner scalp. A healthy scalp will lead to healthy hair.

20. Highlight Your Hair Color Naturally With Walnuts

The husk of walnuts is a natural coloring agent that could accentuate the natural highlights of your hair. Walnut oil contains a rich amount of assorted proteins. These help in improving the color of the hair, while giving it a healthier glow.

How To Use

It is advisable to apply walnuts, in the form of oil, at least thrice a week for reaping the benefits. For better results, it can be used alone or along with coconut or olive oils. However, it is advisable to consult a doctor before you start using the oil to rule out the chances of allergies, if any.

Serious Side-Effects

1. Allergic Reactions

According to The American Cancer Society, people who are allergic to nuts, pecans, in particular, should avoid black walnuts. This is because of the allergic reactions associated with it. These reactions include tightness in the throat or chest, hives, difficulty in breathing, and rashes.

2. Could React With Other Medications

As black walnut is sold as a dietary supplement, it has not been tested by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration for the interactions it can cause with other medications that you may be taking. The tannins present in the hull reduce the absorption of the medication.

3. Skin Cancer

Many people apply black walnut topically on their skin to treat minor cuts and eczema. However, they should be aware that juglone, a chemical compound present in black walnut, is toxic, according to a researcher associated with Purdue University. This toxic chemical could result in the formation of malignant tumors on the skin when applied daily.

4. Changes In Cellular DNA

According to a study published in the Toxicology and Applied Pharmacology Journal, juglone present in black walnut adversely affects fibroblasts, which are the cells that produce collagen proteins. Researchers found that the chemical dramatically decreases the levels of p53, a type of protein, and causes irreparable damage to the cell DNA, resulting in the death of the cells.

5. Equine Inflammatory Disease

The extract of black walnuts is toxic to horses. It causes a disease known as equine laminitis, which is an inflammatory disease. It causes white blood cells to accumulate in the hooves of the horse, leading to pain and lameness.

6. Iron Deficiency

Black walnut contains compounds known as phytates. These have a strong effect on the body’s ability to absorb iron. According to the Iron Disorders Institute, phytates can reduce the absorption of iron present in the food by up to 50 to 60 percent. This ultimately leads to iron deficiency.

7. Liver And Kidney Damage

Today, black walnut is available as a supplement. Since there are different brands and makes of supplements, the strength of each supplement varies. If you overdose on black walnut, it could adversely damage your liver and kidneys. This damage is caused by juglone, which is the active ingredient of black walnuts and found in copious quantities in the hull.

8. Dries Up Body Fluids

According to the WebMD website, black walnut can dry up bodily fluids, such as mucus. Hence, it shouldn’t be used to treat cough when you have a fever. It will cause you to dehydrate and interfere with the absorption of your fever medication.

9. Skin Rashes

When applied topically, black walnut could result in skin rashes. This again is due to the chemical compounds found in the hull of the nut that irritates the skin, leading to red-colored rashes on the affected area. According to the Allina Health website, the rashes are itchy and cause skin inflammation.

10. Birth Defects

As the phytates in black walnut cause cellular level changes in the DNA and cell death, it is possible this supplement could result in birth defects or have an adverse effect on the growth of the fetus. It also could result in miscarriages. Hence, according to Baseline of Health Foundation, pregnant women should not use black walnut. The same holds true for breastfeeding women as well.

How To Choose The Right Walnuts

Walnuts come in three different sizes – small, medium, and large. Check the shells thoroughly. Avoid shells that come with holes and/or cracks. If you are picking up the shelled ones, then make sure that the meat within is plump and crisp.

How To Store Walnuts

You can store walnuts in an airtight container in a dry, cool area, away from direct sunlight. This gives a shelf life of 3 months, provided the walnuts are in the shell.
Once you remove the shell, you can store it in your refrigerator for a maximum of six months. You can freeze the walnuts in an airtight package and use them for one year, without any damage. Walnuts generally absorb food flavors quite easily. While refrigerating or freezing, make sure they are kept at a safe distance from foods such as onions, cabbage or fish.

Recommended Serving

You can relish 1ounce of walnuts daily.
1 oz = ¼ cup = 12 to 14 halves, depending on the size.

Tips For Cooking

You can enjoy the benefits of walnuts by snacking on them directly or incorporating them as part of your diet. Here are a few tasty ideas for using these nuts:

  • Add 2 to 3 walnuts along with banana and yogurt for a healthy smoothie.
  • Transform it into a delicious spread by toasting and then grinding into a powder. Blend it along with garlic, salt, lemon juice, olive oil, and a dash of pepper.
  • Prepare a delicious salad by mixing walnuts, diced apple, red and yellow bell peppers, and spring onions. Toss in a low-fat garlic vinaigrette dressing.
  • For a protein-packed meal, prepare a delicious meal with canned tuna, avocado, celery, and apples. Toss in toasted walnuts and flavor the meal with fresh lime juice.
  • Toss in a handful of crushed, toasted walnuts in your butter-free, sugar-free, whole grain, almond-oats cookie.
  • Walnuts can be paired with caramel, blue cheese, mushrooms, port, assorted salads, penne pasta, zucchini, raisins, and sherry.
  • Always shell the walnuts or chop them only when you plan to eat. This will help retain the freshness.

Walnuts come packed with nutrients. So start using these nuts today and reap their benefits to lead a healthier life.

Is your #TDS actually going to #government? Here’s how to check…

If you are a salaried person, you must have surely come across the term TDS. TDS stands for tax deducted at source – the tax that is deducted from your salary by your employer and paid to the government against your Permanent Account Number (PAN).

After TDS, the employers issue the Form 16 to you, which is your salary or income certificate and contains details of income and taxes paid. Employers deposit tax deducted at source on a quarterly basis, and usually Form 16s are issued after the end of a financial year.

The term TDS is hogging headlines as the Income Tax Department recently unearthed a scam where 447 companies were deducting taxes from their employees but not depositing the amount with the government and instead diverting them for personal or business interests. The scam worth Rs. 3,200 crore comes in the wake of various banking and financial scams that have rocked the country recently.

Since TDS is deducted at the source, employees normally don’t worry about it. However, as an employee you may land in trouble if the TDS is deducted but not deposited with the government. You will get a notice from the I-T Department for discrepancies in Form 16 and Form 26AS. This brings us to the question: how as an employee can you check if your TDS has been deposited and that there’s no mismatch in details?

To save you from trouble, we present a step-by-step guide. You don’t need to wait for your Form 16 to see if it matches with the details in Form 26AS. The TDS deducted is reflected in your salary slip and can be checked there.

Form 26AS contains information about deducted tax, details of tax deducted at source, tax collected at source, details of advance tax, refunds, and high value transactions deducted on behalf of the taxpayer.

In simpler terms, the form indicates the TDS deducted from your salary and deposited to the government against your PAN. Since the TDS deposited is linked with your PAN, you can easily check if it has been deducted and verified through Form 26AS.

How To Check TDS Deduction:

* The TDS deducted can be checked quarterly by visiting the income tax e-filing website.

* Login to the income tax filing website using your login and password.

* Click on the View Form 26 AS tab on the right. This will direct you to TRACES website.

* To download the Form 26As from the TRACES website you have click on Tax Credit (Form 26As option).

* Form 26As can also be downloaded by PAN holders who have netbanking account with participant banks. You just have to login to your bank’s internet banking website and click on the option provided to view Form 26AS.

* The taxpayers can also receive information about the TDS deposited against their PAN numbers through SMS alerts. Therefore, all taxpayers should update their correct and active mobile numbers in their e-filing account.

* To avoid mismatches, ensure that a correct PAN number is provided to your employer. Any kind of discrepancy should be informed to your employer immediately and a revised form 16 should be issued.

How To #prioritize Yourself And #Work At The Same #Time

The topic of work-life balance comes up all the time in the Girls’ Lounge. We actually don’t think that the word “balance” should be in your vocabulary. There is no such thing as 50/50. You don’t turn one thing on and the other thing off. Life is not so neat, and does not function in time blocks.

Rather, we have one life with many dimensions. These dimensions include work, family, community, friends and—we often forget about an important one—ourselves! At different stages of our life, we might need to prioritize differently, especially women in the messy middle. This is a time in our lives where we might have growing responsibilities at home and growing responsibilities at work.

In general, women often put others first. We are nurturers…which is wonderful, but as Alexia Brue, co-founder and CEO of Well+Good, says, “Taking care of yourself and making sure your own batteries (and not just your cell phone’s) are getting continuously recharged is really important in order to be effective at work and contribute to societal change.”

Here are some ideas on how to take care of yourself—no matter how busy you are at work, at play and impacting change!

Take a “me” moment 

Putting yourself in the equation should not be something that’s one and done, or practiced only when you’re reaching burnout. “Self-care is simply every day, healthy rituals that keep your body and mind energized,” says Brue. “It could be as simple as going to bed every night at the same time, scheduling a regular massage or lighting candles and taking a pause. It’s finding whatever recharges you, and then incorporating it as a ritual into your life.”

Get comfortable putting yourself in the equation every day. My “me” time ritual is a daily bath.

Be present—your way

Unplug in the moment. I do not bring my phone to the dinner table in order to eliminate the temptation to always “be on.” I want to be fully present and focused on who I’m with. You can’t be a little of everything with everyone at the same time.

“Technology has created this always-on expectation and now there are so many platforms for communication. It’s leaving people feeling very depleted. In fact, Google searches for ‘self-care’ are now 20% higher than they were at this time last year,” says Brue. “Establishing guidelines around communication can be really helpful in making sure that when people are not at work, they can truly not be at work. That gives them permission to focus on their families and their lives outside of work.”

For example, Brue’s company recently shared guidelines that employees won’t Slack after 7 pm, and, if an email is sent after normal business hours, responses are not expected until the morning.

What if you work at a company where an almost-instant response is the expectation? “Each person needs to navigate the understood or implied rules of the workplace culture you’re in because that’s part of succeeding at a company, but hopefully more companies will understand that people will be more productive and creative when they have time for themselves,” says Brue.

Embrace an “integration” mindset

I think the best way to sum it up is called “life integration.” A day in the life for me includes every aspect of what I need to do in the moment. I ink my personal commitments into my daily diary so that they are equally prioritized with my work commitments. I do not ever say to myself, ‘I wish I could do this if I could find the time.’ I make the time I need when I need it and manage to get it all done…my way.

Studies have found that even short breaks can boost your focus and productivity. “Self-care doesn’t have to be time-consuming,” say Brue. “Even five minutes of mediation can be grounding and give you energy. You can book a conference room or find a phone booth and sneak away for a few moments to put on a mediation app.” Some to try: Buddhify, and 10% Happier.

Other ideas for carving out some time for yourself at work might include taking a walk around the block, journaling for a few minutes or doing light stretches at your desk.